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« Reply #15 on: March 18, 2009, 04:34:16 PM » |
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Rabri Devi, Laloo Yadav and Lie Clocks
Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.""Oh,†said Rabri "Who's clock is that?"That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie."And whose clock is that?" That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life." Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"
Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan".
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« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2009, 04:34:51 PM » |
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Kahani Me Twist - Letter from Software Engineer to his Boss
A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client sideon a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye".
With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-
Dear Sir,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down.
I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you.
I am sorry but I had no choice.
The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no
need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon,have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace
me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".
I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.
Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me.
Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 Rs entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.
I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).
Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.
Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.
Your faithful employee,
S. W. Engineer
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read:
PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this.
My respect and Best Regards to you!
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« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2009, 04:35:34 PM » |
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 Hindi meanings of some words |
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« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2009, 04:35:47 PM » |
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BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!
HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down ..
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« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2009, 04:36:10 PM » |
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KANK (Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna) Review: IT Style
Review of Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (KANK) :
1. The program *KANK* has not been built as per the Functionality Design Specifications (script).
2. The director should have first created a proper Design Document (screenplay) and then begun the actual coding.
3. *AmitabhBachchan* is a powerful class with a number of methods and functions but it has not been effectively used.
4. *AbhishekBachchan,* a derived class of *AmitabhBachchan*, inherits all the attributes and properties of its parent class.
5. *ShahRukhKhan* and *RaniMukherjee* are emotionally overloaded and go into an infinite weeping loop every 60 milliseconds.
6. The methods such as *Songs()* and *Cinematography()* have been properly executed and produce fantastic results.
7. *PreityZinta* is an abstract class, which looks pretty but actually does nothing.
8. Functions like *ArjunRampal, JA, and KD* pass NULL values and are redundant.
9. The program takes an unbearably long time to terminate? about 3 hours and 20 minutes.
10. In User Acceptance Testing, too many defects were found.
Overall, the package is not worth purchasing. You may opt for pirated copies if u like uncultured boring dragging drama, though.
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« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2009, 04:38:41 PM » |
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It's Rakhi Day - Guys Take Leave and Sit at Home  |
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« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2009, 04:38:50 PM » |
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Some Ironies of Life
Let me share some ironies of life
Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something
to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.
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« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2009, 04:39:14 PM » |
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Who Wants To Share My Corn Flakes?  |
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« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2009, 04:39:32 PM » |
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Engineering Vs Management
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit moreand shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."You must be an engineer," said the balloonist."I am", replied the man. "How did you know?""Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more."The man below responded, "You must be in management.""I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?""Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems."
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« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2009, 04:39:42 PM » |
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Business is Business
One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied,"Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"
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« Reply #25 on: March 18, 2009, 04:40:04 PM » |
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Stupid of The Day  |
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« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2009, 04:40:14 PM » |
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Funny Poem on Resignation
R E S I G N A T I O N
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The money is not good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!
The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.
Thanks & Regards
Employee
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« Reply #27 on: March 18, 2009, 04:43:07 PM » |
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Why would I lie? This is the Internet!
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.
A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.
When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath.’
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.’
The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.’
The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.’
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« Reply #28 on: March 18, 2009, 04:43:51 PM » |
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I agree man, it was funny for a little while and now it is just over done!  |
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« Reply #29 on: March 18, 2009, 04:47:58 PM » |
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